[closed post -- training]

[onthewillowsthere]

The day after Evil Twin Magnus leaves, Galahad shows up for his training with Lan Wangji exactly as he always does (although later in the day, because Lan Wangji asked him to wait until afternoon to meet) -- if Lan Wangji were going solely on his appearance, he'd see absolutely nothing out of order. He throws himself into the sword forms with his usual focus. But he's gripping the hilt of his sword too tightly, and his movements are tense; he's never graceful, but today he's almost clumsy, and each failure or misstep only seems to pull him tighter, like an overwound watch.

Comments

[lightbearinglord]

The thought of it turns Lan Wangji cold and hot at once. He and Galahad both learned as children to trust in authority, to be calm and obedient and never to question the rules. The freedom to form his own judgments has often been a tiny revelation, painfully-won. Thy mind has been thy fortress, Claudius said to him as he struggled to breathe with the knowledge of all of Aornis' thefts and manipulations washing over him.

His hands tighten at Galahad's shoulders -- not painfully, but with a wash of anger and sudden protectiveness. It's an irrational thought, but he should not have let that Magnus, who was a stranger, go. At the least, he should have warned him to behave himself. "He should not have done that," he says, fierce with it, more feeling in his voice than Galahad might typically hear in weeks of their calm, methodical training.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad gives a miserable nod, grateful that Lan Wangji -- as predicted -- does understand, and tries to wipe his tears away with his sleeve. "He wanted to find Jack, and I was afraid-- that he would take him."

[lightbearinglord]

After his own conversation with Magnus, Lan Wangji doesn't think that likely, but he doesn't say so. If Galahad was afraid, there was a reason for it. He lifts one hand so that he can use his own sleeve to wipe Galahad's tears instead; there is considerably more fabric, and it is soft and silky. He did exactly this for Claudius when Claudius was a child. "Did he find him?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes." He turns his face up to make Lan Wangji's task easier. "I came too. Jack placed himself in my hand."

[lightbearinglord]

He's gentle about that task, and thorough. He feels a terrible ache of fondness at the way Galahad is trusting him -- to touch him, to care for him, and to listen to him. "Jack knew Magnus was wrong, too."

[onthewillowsthere]

A little nod. His chest feels too tight, and although he's stopped crying now he hiccups. "He wasn't my friend," he says. "It felt bad. Wrong. I hated it."

[lightbearinglord]

"I know," Lan Wangji says again. He takes a breath to sort out how to say what he wants to say. "It wasn't that he didn't know me. Claudius didn't know me, but I could see that he was the same. I could imagine becoming his brother again. I couldn't imagine ever mattering to Magnus."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. I met Claudius too," he says, relieved all over again that Lan Wangji understands the difference.

[lightbearinglord]

"That was better." He will be immensely glad to see his best friend again, most likely later today after he has taken care of his various obligations, but he liked the other Claudius, too; he is glad to have met him. He dries a few lingering tears, careful around Galahad's eyes, and then at last overcomes his doubts and pulls him into a proper embrace.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad immediately folds himself awkwardly into Lan Wangji's arms. His body is stiff and unyielding, but he holds on tightly.

[lightbearinglord]

Galahad is still slight and small, his tense body wrapped in Lan Wangji's arms and his sleeves, but Lan Wangji can feel the growing strength he has been developing. He is viciously proud of him, of all his diligence and determination in spite of everything. He holds him as tightly as he dares, as tightly as he can without causing him pain. Lan Wangji understands. Galahad doesn't have to speak.

[onthewillowsthere]

He doesn't say anything. He's still overwhelmed by his feelings, by the sense of betrayal by Evil Twin Magnus, by the tension his body is holding. But he's understood -- he's unfathomably grateful to be understood, to be known. He's never met someone as like him as Lan Wangji is, someone who could see him the way Lan Wangji does. It's not the careful study Claudius has made of him, though Galahad loves that study with his whole heart and matches it every day; it's not the effortless warmth of Magnus or Percival. He and Lan Wangji have struggled with each other but they're the same.

[lightbearinglord]

After a time, Lan Wangji relaxes his hold. He doesn't let go, but the ferocity of the embrace eases. "I think he will not return. If he does, I will handle him."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Thank you," quietly.

[lightbearinglord]

Unable to resist, he gives Galahad another firm squeeze, unreasonably fond of him in this moment. "You're welcome."

[onthewillowsthere]

He lifts his head, wordless for a few moments before he asks, "Are you all right?" If Evil Twin Magnus' visit was so hard for him, it might have been this hard for Lan Wangji, too. They're so similar.

[lightbearinglord]

"I am." On the topic of Magnus, at least. He has seen Magnus, assured himself that he is restored, and passed along the locket. "It was difficult. But he is gone. Our Magnus is still here."

[onthewillowsthere]

"What about... everything else?"

[lightbearinglord]

"It will be easier when we have dealt with that woman," he admits, after a moment. His first instinct is to elide any concern in front of his student, but Galahad is something like a friend, too, or so he hopes. "I trust Claudius, but I worry for him. I worry for all of us and our memories."

[onthewillowsthere]

He nods. He doesn't like thinking about what he must be missing because of Aornis, but he likes less how it affects the people he loves. Magnus being hurt, Shen Yuan's death, Claudius' determination to be at the center of protecting their community (he trusts Claudius, but he still worries that he's putting himself in deliberate danger).

"Do you think it will be over soon?" Claudius thinks so. He believes the net is tightening. We're approaching the climax of this mystery, he told Galahad a few days ago, looking at the drawing in Galahad's sketchbook again. The pieces are all ready on the board. --I'm mixing metaphors, of course.

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes." Bichen is as heavy as ever at Lan Wangji's hip. He can't help but wonder if he will need to use it before long, in a way that he has not been called to use it in quite some time. If so, he is as ready as he can be. They only need to account for as many eventualities as possible.

[onthewillowsthere]

"Are you afraid?" curiously. He doesn't mean of this final confrontation with Aornis -- not exactly. The question is meant more to encompass everything that has happened with her so far.

[lightbearinglord]

The question takes Lan Wangji another moment. "Yes," he says, then. "I am not afraid of fighting her. I'm afraid of what else she could take." He doesn't know the extent of Aornis' powers, if she could slip a hand into his mind and pull every memory of Wei Ying free, washing him clean of the Yiling Patriarch just as his uncle and brother so often wanted for him. He has to believe that it would be impossible for him to look at Wei Ying and fail to love and desire him, but the memories themselves are precious.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods. He's thought of this too. He already has so many tenuous memories -- so many things that Damien or Laurel experienced that he has only the slightest grasp of, but also his own innate tendency to lose things when he's in the grip of strong emotion, just as he lost so much of the day the visitors came, and his inability to remember faces -- and it seems as if, for someone whose object is to take, it would be a simple matter to alter things further. It alarms him to consider how easily Aornis could affect him, or, if he's beneath her notice, affect Claudius. If she decided to remove the memory of Claudius from everyone here, the way she did herself, because he's investigating too intently--

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is still holding onto Galahad, and he knows nearly every tell that Galahad's body has by now. As his tension coils tighter again, Lan Wangji pulls him back into the embrace, firm and decisive. "She can't take everything. Claudius has it all in writing."