[closed post -- training]

[onthewillowsthere]

The day after Evil Twin Magnus leaves, Galahad shows up for his training with Lan Wangji exactly as he always does (although later in the day, because Lan Wangji asked him to wait until afternoon to meet) -- if Lan Wangji were going solely on his appearance, he'd see absolutely nothing out of order. He throws himself into the sword forms with his usual focus. But he's gripping the hilt of his sword too tightly, and his movements are tense; he's never graceful, but today he's almost clumsy, and each failure or misstep only seems to pull him tighter, like an overwound watch.

Comments

[lightbearinglord]

"I know," Lan Wangji says again. He takes a breath to sort out how to say what he wants to say. "It wasn't that he didn't know me. Claudius didn't know me, but I could see that he was the same. I could imagine becoming his brother again. I couldn't imagine ever mattering to Magnus."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. I met Claudius too," he says, relieved all over again that Lan Wangji understands the difference.

[lightbearinglord]

"That was better." He will be immensely glad to see his best friend again, most likely later today after he has taken care of his various obligations, but he liked the other Claudius, too; he is glad to have met him. He dries a few lingering tears, careful around Galahad's eyes, and then at last overcomes his doubts and pulls him into a proper embrace.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad immediately folds himself awkwardly into Lan Wangji's arms. His body is stiff and unyielding, but he holds on tightly.

[lightbearinglord]

Galahad is still slight and small, his tense body wrapped in Lan Wangji's arms and his sleeves, but Lan Wangji can feel the growing strength he has been developing. He is viciously proud of him, of all his diligence and determination in spite of everything. He holds him as tightly as he dares, as tightly as he can without causing him pain. Lan Wangji understands. Galahad doesn't have to speak.

[onthewillowsthere]

He doesn't say anything. He's still overwhelmed by his feelings, by the sense of betrayal by Evil Twin Magnus, by the tension his body is holding. But he's understood -- he's unfathomably grateful to be understood, to be known. He's never met someone as like him as Lan Wangji is, someone who could see him the way Lan Wangji does. It's not the careful study Claudius has made of him, though Galahad loves that study with his whole heart and matches it every day; it's not the effortless warmth of Magnus or Percival. He and Lan Wangji have struggled with each other but they're the same.

[lightbearinglord]

After a time, Lan Wangji relaxes his hold. He doesn't let go, but the ferocity of the embrace eases. "I think he will not return. If he does, I will handle him."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Thank you," quietly.

[lightbearinglord]

Unable to resist, he gives Galahad another firm squeeze, unreasonably fond of him in this moment. "You're welcome."

[onthewillowsthere]

He lifts his head, wordless for a few moments before he asks, "Are you all right?" If Evil Twin Magnus' visit was so hard for him, it might have been this hard for Lan Wangji, too. They're so similar.

[lightbearinglord]

"I am." On the topic of Magnus, at least. He has seen Magnus, assured himself that he is restored, and passed along the locket. "It was difficult. But he is gone. Our Magnus is still here."

[onthewillowsthere]

"What about... everything else?"

[lightbearinglord]

"It will be easier when we have dealt with that woman," he admits, after a moment. His first instinct is to elide any concern in front of his student, but Galahad is something like a friend, too, or so he hopes. "I trust Claudius, but I worry for him. I worry for all of us and our memories."

[onthewillowsthere]

He nods. He doesn't like thinking about what he must be missing because of Aornis, but he likes less how it affects the people he loves. Magnus being hurt, Shen Yuan's death, Claudius' determination to be at the center of protecting their community (he trusts Claudius, but he still worries that he's putting himself in deliberate danger).

"Do you think it will be over soon?" Claudius thinks so. He believes the net is tightening. We're approaching the climax of this mystery, he told Galahad a few days ago, looking at the drawing in Galahad's sketchbook again. The pieces are all ready on the board. --I'm mixing metaphors, of course.

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes." Bichen is as heavy as ever at Lan Wangji's hip. He can't help but wonder if he will need to use it before long, in a way that he has not been called to use it in quite some time. If so, he is as ready as he can be. They only need to account for as many eventualities as possible.

[onthewillowsthere]

"Are you afraid?" curiously. He doesn't mean of this final confrontation with Aornis -- not exactly. The question is meant more to encompass everything that has happened with her so far.

[lightbearinglord]

The question takes Lan Wangji another moment. "Yes," he says, then. "I am not afraid of fighting her. I'm afraid of what else she could take." He doesn't know the extent of Aornis' powers, if she could slip a hand into his mind and pull every memory of Wei Ying free, washing him clean of the Yiling Patriarch just as his uncle and brother so often wanted for him. He has to believe that it would be impossible for him to look at Wei Ying and fail to love and desire him, but the memories themselves are precious.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods. He's thought of this too. He already has so many tenuous memories -- so many things that Damien or Laurel experienced that he has only the slightest grasp of, but also his own innate tendency to lose things when he's in the grip of strong emotion, just as he lost so much of the day the visitors came, and his inability to remember faces -- and it seems as if, for someone whose object is to take, it would be a simple matter to alter things further. It alarms him to consider how easily Aornis could affect him, or, if he's beneath her notice, affect Claudius. If she decided to remove the memory of Claudius from everyone here, the way she did herself, because he's investigating too intently--

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is still holding onto Galahad, and he knows nearly every tell that Galahad's body has by now. As his tension coils tighter again, Lan Wangji pulls him back into the embrace, firm and decisive. "She can't take everything. Claudius has it all in writing."

[onthewillowsthere]

Claudius has it all in writing. He has his dossier, the one he gave Laurel the key for; he has Lan Wangji, to whom he's written notes of explanation. Galahad breathes in and out carefully, imagining the fish flowing through his airways into the world, the ten thousand things.

[lightbearinglord]

For several long moments, Lan Wangji is quiet. He notices how deliberate Galahad is with his breath, how his chest rises and falls where he's nestled into Lan Wangji's arms, and so he matches it, slow and even. Aornis can take memory, but surely she can't take feeling. Surely she could not keep Lan Wangji from loving Wei Ying, trusting Claudius, or wanting to protect Galahad. The reality of those feelings is so stark. They strike him as utterly indelible.

[onthewillowsthere]

Finally, Galahad says, "I am overwhelmed." He's only realizing it now, but it makes sense. Aornis, Evil Twin Magnus -- his own Evil Twin, old and longing for death -- studying Shen Yuan's body to make sure it grows correctly and well, training with Lan Wangji for future dangers he can't predict, Claudius' story of Luo Binghe in Aleksander's body. There are too many things pulling on him, like a wild current.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji knew that already, because he recognized it, but it is better for Galahad to have come to the realization himself. He doesn't answer immediately. He looses one final breath, and indulges himself in cupping the back of Galahad's head in his palm, an affectionate touch to his hair that is without any sort of utility. "No training today. Come inside with me."

[onthewillowsthere]

It feels good to be touched like this, for no reason other than comfort. He nods. "Yes, Hanguang-jun," as he would acknowledge an order in training.

[lightbearinglord]

And so Lan Wangji ushers Galahad inside, keeping a hand flat and steady between his shoulder blades until they're indoors. He never touched any of his Lan junior disciples like this; it would never have occurred to him. When Sizhui grew old enough, he intentionally stopped touching him with overt affection where anyone could see.

By the time they step inside, he's made a small decision, and he brings Galahad up the stairs with him, to the room he shares with Wei Ying.