open post -- a little white kitten

[onthewillowsthere]

After way, way too much research and overthinking, the kind of research and overthinking that had Janet feeling uncomfortably like Quentin and Alice's ill-gotten love child, she's been ready for a while. So, yes, maybe she wanted the dramatic gesture of giving this to Galahad as a wedding gift. Can you blame her? Nothing says “I hope you're really happy in all your marital bliss with that guy who always seems like he's trying to sell me a protection plan” like the promise of turning someone into a cat.

Whatever. It's also kind of anticlimactic at this point. Janet has a bowl of white paste and a whole lot of gumption, but as far as supplies go, that's it. She eyes Galahad. “You ready?”

“Yes,” Galahad says, in his usual too-serious way. He's excited, but that only means his affect is flatter and blanker than usual. He told Mothwing that he would come to her for a lesson this afternoon, but not what shape he'd be in.

“Okay. You're going to have cat-brain, and herding cats is famously impossible, so where do you want to do this?” Maybe Janet should have made the mansion generate a cat carrier. But it seems rude to show up to a meeting with a human person with one of those, and not her preferred brand of rude.

“In the garden. I want to go to Mothwing afterwards.”

“Sure thing.” She lets Galahad lead the way. She has a bowl of weird white gunk to manage.

Once they’re in the garden, surrounded by the riotous summer flowers, Galahad stops. “Will my clothes transform with me?”

“Nope.” Janet raises her eyebrows at him. “You'll be naked when I turn you back. I won't let your tiny cat body suffocate or anything, if you're worried about that.”

“When you have transformed me, will you please put my watch around my neck?”

That is… so cute. He's so cute. Every time Janet has mentally compared Galahad to an adorable talking woodland creature feels completely justified. “Yep,” she says, instead of oh my God, you're adorable. “Any other last requests before you can't talk anymore?”

“No. Thank you.”

Okay, sure. Janet scoops some of the chalky shit onto her fingers and invades Galahad's personal space. She swipes it onto his forehead, under his shock of marshmallow-fluff hair, then onto his bare shoulders. She steps back, looks him over like he's a used Chevy Malibu and she's about to try and talk him up to a family of four, then says a single harsh syllable out loud.

It's not a pretty transformation. Galahad kind of… crunches forward, folding up like a piece of paper crumpling in someone's hands. Cats are a lot smaller than humans. Fur is sprouting, his collarbones are melting away, a tail is crackling out from the other end of him. It's really, really not cute. But it does work, and Janet feels like the world's coolest magician when there's a little white cat with blue eyes staring at her from under his sundress.

It feels like falling down a cliffside – a whirling, disorienting feeling, but not the freefall in air of being thrown from a horse. When the world around Galahad comes to a halt, he looks up, and up, and up, to see Janet’s distant, blurry face.

He takes a careful step forward on his paws, getting used to his new center of gravity. His whiskers feel as though they’re constantly brushing against things, picking up every vibration in the air, and the world’s colors have changed into shades of yellow and blue. His ears twitch and swivel towards sounds.

He takes a practice run, and finds his stiff, awkward body has become graceful, fluid, as he bounds in a circle around the garden. He can’t tell how, but he knows his tail is important, as much a part of his balance as his four paws.

Finally he comes back and sits on his hindquarters in front of Janet. He knows he’s not supposed to be able to talk, but he tries anyway, and meows, “Thank you.”

“Holy shit!” Janet stares down at him. That doesn't make any sense. She remembers being a goose. All she could do was honk. She honked for days on end. It was actually really fucking tedious. “Whoa. I'm good.” She told him she would, so she kneels in the grass and swipes his watch from the pile of his clothes. “Here, kitty.”

Galahad pads over to her on his soft, silent paws and puts out his head for the watch-collar.

Feeling a sudden sense of portentous responsibility, Janet buckles it around his neck. She's careful not to make it too tight or too loose. He's so, so cute. “Okay.” She gives him a little scritch under the chin, like Regina likes. “Do whatever you want, but I'm gonna keep an eye on you.”

“I understand. Thank you, Queen Janet,” he meows again. Then a butterfly passes in the corner of his eye, and he springs after it, unable to stop himself.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

"My mind is weird," he meows. "I can think, but my body isn't always under my control. I think it must be how cats feel."

[ravkanwitch]

"The Wandering Isle has a superstition that some cats are possessed by witches," Nina agrees, solemnly. "What animal were you when you were transformed, Janet?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet makes a tragic little face. "A goose. It was so we could fly to Antarctica."

[onthewillowsthere]

"You flew!" rapturously. "Nina, Nina, pick me up and hold me over your head!"

[ravkanwitch]

Well, how can Nina say no to that? She carefully cradles him in her hands but lifts him high above her head.

"A goose?" Nina asks, grinning half at Janet's expression and half at the act of holding cat!Galahad over her head. "It doesn't sound like the most exciting animal, but depending on what happened you could prove me wrong..."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Fuck, he's adorable. Janet laughs. "It wasn't. Like I said, it was the means to an end. All I remember is having feathers for brains and doing a lot of honking. Like, endless. Honk honk." She rolls her eyes. "Then we spent a semester in Antarctica. The professor was a hardass. He cast this spell so we couldn't talk and made us do the same magic over and over again in solitary confinement."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Were you still a goose while you did magic?" Galahad points his face up at the sky. "I'm almost flying!"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina makes a face at the description of this professor, still holding Galahad up. She does a slow spin. "Sounds like one of my teachers at the Little Palace."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"A huge asshole?" Janet surmises. "No, we got turned back into humans when we got there. Not the whole time, but most of it."

[onthewillowsthere]

The spin is dizzying; his whiskers pull back against his face and his eyes go huge -- and yet he doesn't protest.

[ravkanwitch]

Luckily, she tucks him back down in her arms after this spin. She makes another, different face. "Very particular," she says, mostly agreeing with Janet. "I also had a terrible attention span in class."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Galahad is so cute. Janet's had this thought a million times already, but it bears repeating. "I was a pretty good student," she admits, "but not the best. I had friends who were a lot nerdier about it than me."

[onthewillowsthere]

He settles, purring loudly, and begins to lick her chin.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina giggles; the rough tongue is a bit ticklish. "It does seem like you have to be at least somewhat nerdy to do what you do. I just wanted to learn how to incapacitate people."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"It's definitely a baseline," Janet admits, grinning a little at the sight of Galahad grooming Nina. "But incapacitating people was always my ultimate goal. You're a woman after my own heart."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Who have you incapacitated?"

[ravkanwitch]

"Oh, you know, my enemies," Nina says casually, before growing more serious. "Usually corrupt, creepy merchants."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Nice," Janet says easily. "Creepy. Say no more."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Creepy?"

[ravkanwitch]

Galahad is so cute as a cat saying the word creepy. Nina pets him again. "Creepy," she agrees. "It means a little spooky or scary, like a Corpsewitch who can manipulate bones but is otherwise very charming."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"It does mean that," Janet interjects, "but I bet that's not the kind of creepy merchant you were incapacitating. Call it a hunch."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Oh," he meows. "Bad vibes."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina bursts into laughter at this; she can't help it. "Exactly. I have good creepy vibes, these merchants had bad creepy vibes."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Your vibes are terrifying and gorgeous," Janet assures her. "Trust me. It takes one to know one."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I like your vibes!"