[closed post -- a readiness of things]

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad has assumed a regular schedule of checking on Magnus -- the protein bars were dire, and Magnus deserves better food, to say nothing of the other pleasures of indoor life (changes of clothes, Ticket to Ride (the Europe version), updates from Claudius' Mansion gossip that seem like they're be interesting to Magnus and not so personal that Galahad would feel bad sharing them). He comes out to the woods daily now.

It's one of the coolest days they've had at the Mansion so far, and he has a long coat on over his clothes. Today's collection of needful things includes a book full of different waffle recipes, the spicy lamb Magnus conjured from the refrigerator on his first day, two bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red, and an assortment of jeweled barrettes that immediately made him think of Magnus' overlong hair.

Comments

[summerdude]

"Sorry, dude, that was kind of --" Magnus shrugs. He's starting to realize that he's just been blabbing on about his boyfriend for some time to a very patient friend. That's a lot to ask of a guy, even if he is listening to draw you a picture.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad shakes his head and signs it's all right (by tapping his chest with the edge of his flat palm, which is the sign for fine). "Do you want to see?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah!" Magnus sits up so he can see better. "Show me!"

[onthewillowsthere]

He turns the sketchbook around. The drawing is -- imperfect, to say the least, he really can't draw very well without a reference, but he's done his best to include all the features Magnus described. He's also drawn frog!Alex, biting a finger. He knows it's bad; he's already laughing.

[summerdude]

It may not be a photorealistic sketch of Alex, and Galahad may have swapped Alex's eyes (because Magnus didn't clarify which was which), and the hair might be a little long, but it's perfect. Galahad has captured the important stuff. Magnus wants to reach out and touch it... so he does, one careful stroke, outside of the smudgeable lines of the charcoal.

The frog is also spectacular. Magnus laughs when he looks at it. "First of all, dude, I want that in full size so I can hang it in my room or maybe give it to her next time I see her," he tells Galahad. "Second of all, they, like, sweat the poison." It's an imperfect description, but good enough. "Don't get me wrong, this is perfect, Alex would totally bite someone like that, but the poison is inside their glands. And on their skin."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Their skin."

[summerdude]

"Their skin," Magnus says, with great relish.

[onthewillowsthere]

It's so easy to laugh around Magnus. All the tense knotted parts inside himself unknot, and he doesn't worry about saying the wrong thing, and everything is just easy. He looks from the picture to Magnus and laughs, as hard as he's ever laughed at anything, so hard his stomach hurts and his eyes water.

[summerdude]

Magnus laughs, too. With Galahad, like this, it's easy to let go of of his concerns about the future and just trust that things will end up okay in the end.

[onthewillowsthere]

Eventually he flops down on the cushions, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Thank you."

[summerdude]

"I've got weird animal facts for days," Magnus says, flopping down next to Galahad. "Hey, how's Claudius?" He's been talking about Alex forever; it's Galahad's turn.

[onthewillowsthere]

He looks up through the canopy of red and gold leaves to the sky, his expression turning thoughtful. "He gave me a watch," holding his arm out for Magnus to see the two leather bands, one braided and one smooth, and the silver face etched with vines, with its two moons.

[summerdude]

Magnus leans over to look at it, and then cautiously traces the face of it with a light touch. It looks perfect for Galahad. "It's beautiful, man," he says, thinking of the day he taught Galahad about watches. "How does it match up to your hours?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"It's what I wanted." He exhales, looking at the two moons on the face. "The hours are the same every day. I know what time it is. It doesn't matter that there are no bells."

He turns his head to look at Magnus. "He's-- do you worry about Alex?"

[summerdude]

"Hm? Oh, yeah, all the time," Magnus says. "Like, I know she can take care of herself, and she doesn't, like, need me there. But --" He thinks about the people Alex has lost. The ones Alex has told him about, and the ones she hasn't. Magnus still doesn't know the entire story behind Adrian, beside the fact that Adrian existed. Alex is strong, and resilient, and powerful. But the world is uncertain, even with the weight of prophecy, and it is often cruel, and Magnus wants better for her. "Especially since I got here, I've been worried."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods, rubbing the leather braid with the pad of his thumb.

[summerdude]

"You worry about Claudius, then?"

[onthewillowsthere]

He thinks about all the things he's noticed to worry about -- how little Claudius sleeps, how little he expects to be respected and how much he wants to be, how quickly and easily he thinks of death when something terrible has happened -- how fragile he is, with no weapons but his wit. He thinks about the fear and fury he felt the day of the zombie attack, first at thinking about Claudius unshielded and then at seeing his bleeding arm.

"Yes," he says and signs.

[summerdude]

Magnus slings an arm over Galahad's chest and gives him a quick little squeeze before leaning back so that he can sign. Do you want to talk about it?

[onthewillowsthere]

A long, thinking pause, and then he shakes his head. It doesn't seem right to share these things without Claudius knowing, even to Magnus, except-- He's not like us, he signs. He can be hurt. Bitten, to make the connection with the zombie attack, which he thinks Magnus will understand.

[summerdude]

Magnus nods. He gets that; he really does. He's frankly still not entirely sure whether Galahad is mortal or not -- from what he's heard of Galahad's prophesied purpose, it could honestly go either way. In Magnus's experience, people who enter into the heavens due to the intervention of some god have something going on. And what he assumes to be the usual tells of mortality aren't actually all that useful? He knows Galahad can be injured, physically, and that he's probably got something going on mentally, too, besides the burden placed upon him by his religion. Magnus can relate to both of those things, though, and he's not mortal. But being hurt when you're already dead -- being hurt when you were, frankly, designed to be some sort of weapon -- is different.

At least Alex is like Magnus. She's not mortal, either; unless one of them fades away (unlikely) or dies outside of Valhalla (much more likely), she'll be around until the end of the world. But Magnus knows that Samirah and Amir are already getting older. He can tell. He can see it when he looks at them: their bodies, their faces are changing as they shed their teens and enter into their twenties. Samirah is a capable fighter, for a currently-mortal valkyrie. Amir is just his handsome friend who runs his dad's falafel stand and is betrothed to Sam, and Magnus still spends considerable time hoping the guy is okay. Samirah will be granted entry into Valhalla once she dies, even if she's likely to reject it in favor of her true faith, but Amir doesn't even have that kind of guarantee. Magnus doesn't know what to do with the knowledge that he's going to be sixteen forever while all of his mortal friends age and die. It's something he's started to worry about here, too, actually: if he stays here with Jack to try and keep Ragnarok at bay, what happens if he's eventually the last one left?

But for all that he's pretty good at babbling through his thoughts, he's not sure how to say all this to Galahad: that the weight of being maybe-not-quite-mortal leads to unique burdens; that he knows what Galahad means even though he might feel it a little differently. He could tell Galahad that there are stories about Claudius in Magnus's time, and that from what he remembers, he's pretty sure Claudius makes it out okay? (Doesn't he end up as Queen Ophelia's advisor at the end?) He could tell Galahad that even people who he might expect to be more invincible can get hurt, too -- after all, Magnus did have to heal Galahad's stupid dad. But he doesn't know that either of those things are the right thing to say.

It sucks, he signs, with great feeling.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods just as emphatically and lets his arm fall across his eyes. He doesn't have to know exactly what it sucks means to get the feeling.

[summerdude]

"I think he'll be okay though," Magnus says, eventually -- out loud, since Galahad's not looking. "He's really smart, and you're learning medicine, and I can heal. And I think that --" He pauses, gathering his thoughts. All of his biggest worries are about things he can't control. Something occurs to him. "There's this prayer I heard of, back home? Not in Valhalla for any of the gods I know. I think it's for your god, actually. I learned it when I was homeless from some of the guys at one of the shelters. 'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'" It's been an okay fit for Magnus's own life -- he's already trying to change what he can to push Ragnarok back without, like, tilting at windmills or whatever -- and maybe it'll be handy for Galahad, too.

[onthewillowsthere]

He reaches out with his other arm and puts his hand on Magnus' knee, to let him know that he hears it and he appreciates it.

[summerdude]

Magnus waits, for a while, resting a hand on Galahad's and stroking lightly with his thumb, to see if there's anything else Galahad wants to get out. There's a question -- the eternal question -- bubbling up at the back of Magnus's mind, but he doesn't want to switch topics preemptively.