Susan cuts herself off again. She's feeling awfully queer, like she doesn't know how much to say. Like she doesn't know what's too much. Usually she's got a rigidly precise sense of what she's willing to say and what she isn't. She speaks more frequently about things that matter with these two people than most, besides Lancelot, but the things she chooses to speak about with each of them does vary considerably, and besides, the whole affair with Aornis feels like a raw wound somewhere she can't quite reach, so it's as if she doesn't know the whole shape of it.
This is ridiculous, she chides herself. Don't be ridiculous.
"I suppose I keep catching myself wondering what it all signifies," she says, after a pause that's perhaps gone far too long. Each word must be coaxed sternly from her throat. "That we were friendly. That I find it easy to forget."
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2024-10-31 11:14 pm (UTC)Susan cuts herself off again. She's feeling awfully queer, like she doesn't know how much to say. Like she doesn't know what's too much. Usually she's got a rigidly precise sense of what she's willing to say and what she isn't. She speaks more frequently about things that matter with these two people than most, besides Lancelot, but the things she chooses to speak about with each of them does vary considerably, and besides, the whole affair with Aornis feels like a raw wound somewhere she can't quite reach, so it's as if she doesn't know the whole shape of it.
This is ridiculous, she chides herself. Don't be ridiculous.
"I suppose I keep catching myself wondering what it all signifies," she says, after a pause that's perhaps gone far too long. Each word must be coaxed sternly from her throat. "That we were friendly. That I find it easy to forget."