[closed post -- heraldry]

[onthewillowsthere]

It took another few meetings with Grantaire before Galahad was satisfied with the colors and able to reproduce them himself, especially now that his time is taken up with training with Lan Wangji. Every moment he's not with Magnus or Claudius he's in the parlor meditating, at the wood edge lifting stones, or watching Lan Wangji practice sword forms. His balance is improving steadily from pure repetition. He's assigned himself to every exercise with the kind of singular focus he always used to give to God's commandments, and if he's not exactly happy he at least has the comfort of knowing that, however slowly, he's getting stronger.

That evening he showed Claudius the finished heraldry, after they were back in their room together, and Claudius was silent for several long moments before he said, "Well," and the back of his neck flushed, and everything he had to say after that mattered, but by then Galahad already knew it was what he'd wanted.

So now he's looking for Janet. He's wearing his red velvet pinafore and his sword belted on as usual, and he has his sketchbook in his arms.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

"I rejected God through foreswearing chastity," Galahad says. He remembers when he told Magnus the first time, when he thought God had rejected him (it feels foolish now that he was so quick to assume it, when nothing had changed; God was silent, but God had been silent since he came here, and he was still imbued with all of His power), and how he stumbled over the words, humiliated to admit that he had lost his virginity. It almost makes him laugh now. In Camelot, they knew; it was part of the prophecy. He knew he had been laughed at, pitied, envied for something he hadn't chosen and didn't know enough not to want.

Now he's almost proud of it. Let him be known unchaste, unworthy of the virgin white he means to wear for his wedding. He never thinks of what it would be like to return to Camelot, and yet for a moment it crowds in like a vision from God: to be there with Claudius, to be seen with his betrothed, the man he chose and has been chosen by. He lifts his chin, as if Janet had expressed some doubt in him.

"I am no longer pure."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Oh." Janet's taken aback -- not by the revelation that Galahad had sex, but by the ferocity he uses to present that information to her. She lets her chair thunk back down to the kitchen floor. "Well, good. That's all bullshit anyway. Gods are megalomaniacal dicks, nine times out of ten."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Susan also talked about God's member," with an absence of tone.

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Does God even have a dick? Maybe if he did, he wouldn't be such a piece of shit to people who use theirs for fun. Or to people who use other people's dicks for fun."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Susan does not think He uses it very well."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet grins broadly. "Susan's an incredibly smart woman."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. I like her."

[sorrowandsorrow]

So does Janet, but they've pretty well established that already. "See? You should listen to us. Not some asshole of a god."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I'll consider it."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"I guess that's smart. You don't want to go from one authoritarian piece of shit to another. I'm not a god, but I am a queen."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes, your majesty."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Oh my God." That makes her laugh, a little helplessly. "You're adorable. Stop or I'll change my mind about tattooing you."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I don't want to be adorable," he says, accidentally fierce. "I want to be wanton."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Unfortunately, this is adorable, too. "Right. Hence the tramp stamp. We're working on it."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Is there anything else?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet decides to take the question seriously, studying Galahad again. "You already have piercings. Good start. Let's see... wanton, huh? Crop top, booty shorts, thigh-high fishnets... I could go on."

[onthewillowsthere]

He knows crop top from Magnus, and fishnet is a kind of stocking. "What are booty shorts?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"They're these shorts that are just obscenely short. We're talking practically halfway up your ass instead of covering any actual leg."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad imagines this, and then imagines Claudius' reaction to it, all of it. He nods, slow and careful. "Thank you."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Oh my God, what is she doing? Is this legal? It definitely might not be ethical. "If you really want to look a walking crime, throw on some body glitter and call it a day. Well, call it a night, I guess."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Is that makeup?" Galahad asks. He has been thinking about makeup.

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Sure, I guess it could be classified as makeup." Janet lifts an eyebrow. "You're angling for a wholeass makeover, huh?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. It's time. I have changed."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Go wild, I guess. I used to wear makeup every day -- the novelty wore off for me. But if it's just for looking wanton, maybe you'll have a good time."

[onthewillowsthere]

"What do you want to be?"