[closed post -- heraldry]

[onthewillowsthere]

It took another few meetings with Grantaire before Galahad was satisfied with the colors and able to reproduce them himself, especially now that his time is taken up with training with Lan Wangji. Every moment he's not with Magnus or Claudius he's in the parlor meditating, at the wood edge lifting stones, or watching Lan Wangji practice sword forms. His balance is improving steadily from pure repetition. He's assigned himself to every exercise with the kind of singular focus he always used to give to God's commandments, and if he's not exactly happy he at least has the comfort of knowing that, however slowly, he's getting stronger.

That evening he showed Claudius the finished heraldry, after they were back in their room together, and Claudius was silent for several long moments before he said, "Well," and the back of his neck flushed, and everything he had to say after that mattered, but by then Galahad already knew it was what he'd wanted.

So now he's looking for Janet. He's wearing his red velvet pinafore and his sword belted on as usual, and he has his sketchbook in his arms.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

"I don't want to be adorable," he says, accidentally fierce. "I want to be wanton."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Unfortunately, this is adorable, too. "Right. Hence the tramp stamp. We're working on it."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Is there anything else?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet decides to take the question seriously, studying Galahad again. "You already have piercings. Good start. Let's see... wanton, huh? Crop top, booty shorts, thigh-high fishnets... I could go on."

[onthewillowsthere]

He knows crop top from Magnus, and fishnet is a kind of stocking. "What are booty shorts?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"They're these shorts that are just obscenely short. We're talking practically halfway up your ass instead of covering any actual leg."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad imagines this, and then imagines Claudius' reaction to it, all of it. He nods, slow and careful. "Thank you."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Oh my God, what is she doing? Is this legal? It definitely might not be ethical. "If you really want to look a walking crime, throw on some body glitter and call it a day. Well, call it a night, I guess."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Is that makeup?" Galahad asks. He has been thinking about makeup.

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Sure, I guess it could be classified as makeup." Janet lifts an eyebrow. "You're angling for a wholeass makeover, huh?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. It's time. I have changed."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Go wild, I guess. I used to wear makeup every day -- the novelty wore off for me. But if it's just for looking wanton, maybe you'll have a good time."

[onthewillowsthere]

"What do you want to be?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

The skepticism on Janet's face deepens. "What, like instead of being wanton?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Instead of what you are."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Nothing. I mean, I'd take getting back to Fillory and being the queen again. But otherwise? Nothing."

[onthewillowsthere]

"What do you like about being yourself?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"I like that I don't take shit. I like that I can turn into a terrifying ice goddess who strikes fear into the hearts of men. And I like that I trimmed away all the fat of whatever bullshit insecurity I used to feel, whatever it was that made me care if other people liked me."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods, absorbing this. He doesn't understand it -- he doesn't think he understands Janet at all -- but he likes having more information.

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet wrenches her thoughts away from the desert. "Your turn," she prompts. "Even if you're changing."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I like that I'm happy. I listen well. I'm curious. I was cast away and I still want to live. It has not destroyed me."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet looks at Galahad for a beat without her expression changing; then, she breaks into a grin, sharp and intent. "Damn straight."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Thank you for your help," gravely.

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Don't sweat it," she says easily. "I'll get back to you when I think I can ink you up without making your spine explode."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods, and leaves her to her script.